is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
