Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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