the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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