TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
