so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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