The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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