i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
