how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
