got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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