Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
