But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
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