my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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