Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
