And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
