If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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