fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
