btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
