and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
