I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
false alarm, still single
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