I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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