Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
