I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
