You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
