My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
