just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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