The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
