Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
