Jerry, you need to find god
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
