when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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