Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
