Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
