About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
