Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
