Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I deserve this hangover.
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