So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
