roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
