brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
