Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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