I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You took a bar mat shot.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
