I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
