I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
