i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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