Please, let me fuck your mom
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
