I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
