I seem to have left my pride at pride
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
