I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
