I love black thongs
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
