hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
