You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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