I wish I could punch you in the face.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
